There, is a language, little known, Lovers claim it as their own.  Its symbols smile upon the land, Wrought by natures wondrous hand; And in their silent beauty speak, of life and joy, to those who seek for love divine and sunny hours in the language of flowers. - The Language of Flowers, London, 1875

Flowers carry a language of their own.  They have been used to express feelings, send messages, comfort and cheer.  In Victorian times flowers were given specific meanings and used to communicate through their symbolisms. So why not let the language of flowers speak at your wedding in voices that echo louder than bouquets and centerpieces. 

Next to your guest book have a vase filled with an assortment of beautiful flowers.  Each flower tagged with their symbolism. 

Rose - Love, love completely, Gardenia - Grace - Be graceful and forgive others freely. Iris - Faith, believe in eachother. Lilac - Youth, stay young at heart. Aster- Patience, be patient with one another. Sunflower- adoration and dedication, adore your partner be dedicated to your love. Sweet Pea indicates delicate pleasure and bliss - remember to have fun. 
(these are just a few examples)


As the guests sign the book upon their arrival they are to take a flower.  During the ceremony the officiant begins to talk of the flowers and their meanings.  These flowers and their symbols stand for things such as love, grace patience, joy, beauty, forgiveness, remembrance, dedication, devotion - symbols that also make up a marriage.  The guests are then asked to come forth and lay their flowers at the feet of the couple, creating a circle of flowers in which the couple is to stand in.  One by one - aisle by aisle - the circle of flowers and symbolisms are made.  It is within this circle that the couple will speak their vows and exchange their rings and seal their marriage with a kiss.

I live in awe of the love that was gracefully captured by my husband's parents.  They met as kids, a couple's skate at the roller rink was the start of their charming courtship.  She was only thirteen when they held hands and wheeled around the floor.  Four years later they married and Happily Ever After lasted for over 63 years.  Sadly, she passed this spring and he must journey on alone.  But how very blessed he is - they were - she was.  For most of us will never ever know a love affair that will endure 63 years.  I marvel at the thought of a relationship that has traveled such time and space.  I find it amazing that a love should stay so vibrant and fresh over 6 decades and their devotion be so devine.  

My in-laws actually married each other four times.  It seems they could not get enough of professing their love and any time there was a chance to renew their vows - they did so.  Their first ceremony was full of the excitement and fear that stirs in the atmosphere when teens marry (and nobody thought it would last).  Many years and experiences later they renewed their vows on a trip to Hawaii and having so much fun they did it again when they were in Las Vegas.  On their 50th wedding anniversary they had a huge church wedding, their children and grandchild served as their wedding party.  Their friends and neighbors filled the church ready to celebrate and witness a love with such endurance.  The reception vibrated with the happiness of this precious couple and it made everyone feel good.  

I believe that vow renewal is as important as that first ceremony and maybe more precious.  It is that moment in life when you turn to your partner and say - we did ok.
or something more like this -
"The world, for me, and all the world can hold is circled in your arms,
for me there lies within the lights and shadows of your eyes the only beauty that is never old."

Recently I have participated in two weddings that were small and inexpensive but beautiful to behold and an honor to be a part of.  This is just further proof that one does not have to break the bank to have a magical ceremony - On the contrary, Sometimes less is more.   

The first wedding was held at a party house were the bride wore blue.  Their were no more than twelve people in the room during the ceremony and each one participated.  My bride and groom brought to the altar (or rather fireplace) two braided cords, hers was purple and his was royal blue. The cords were to be tied by the couple with the fisherman's knot.  I shared the story of the fisherman's knot and of it special history. 

The Fisherman's knot  is said to be the easiest knot to tie yet the hardest knot to come undone and in fact it is said to only get tighter over time and with pressure. As history goes, knotting was an art form created in the early 19th century.  Sailors used rope to create knots - some of them being very elaborate.  The knots were used for work, some were just decorative and some knots contained meaning and symbolism.  The Fisherman's knot was one of those knots.  It was called the true lovers knot and is formed by two over hand knots linked together - representing the hearts of true lovers.  A sailor would loosely tie this knot and give it to his girl, if she tightened the knot it meant that she would be waiting for his return and that their hearts were intertwined. 

The different colors of the cords represented their individuality and uniqueness.  The couple tied the two ropes into one knot which signified joining two separate lives into one.  Slowly tightening their knot was symbolic of their two hearts intertwining.  The strong unbreakable knot that they had formed represented a strong and devoted bond.
 
During this whole ceremony, the couples guest (immediate family members) were seated around the couple in a circle - I call this a circle of love.  They stood up and stepped in closer.  The bride passed the cord to her parents who each tied a knot in the side of the cord that held her color - as they did - they sent out a wish or prayer to the couple. The cord then went to the grooms parents who did the same.  It was then passed to the kids that made up the marriage - Bride's son tied a knot and then son's wife helped the two-year-old son (the couples child together) tie his knot.  The cord went back to the bride and groom and the couple tied the ends together.  I then held the cord forth and let all know that this cord is now an unbroken circle, representing a love that is complete - It has no beginning and no end, it is a family united - strong, tight and everlasting.

After my tie the knot ceremony had ended and I left - the couples friends arrived food was brought out and they had a great party.
 

 
The next wedding was also small and intimate - full of personal touches and symbolism - also beautiful.

 

 

 

This wedding took place in a field.  A shelter house set with cake and munchies was nearby  Picnic tables were draped in shades of green and mason jars held floating candles.  The couple had five children between the two of them.   Chairs were set in the field and placed at an angle with an isle.  The wedding party met under a large oak - The men walked through first each one carried a single flower - groom, groom's son and bride's son who also carried a little box that said "you may kiss my mommy."  Then the girls walked through the field each one carrying one long stem flower (the groom's two daughters, the brides one).  Lastly the bride -  a single flower in her hand.  

The wedding began with a parents moment and instead of dad giving away his daughter both sets of parents were asked to come forth - embrace the couple in love and wish them well.  

My opening consisted of metaphors relating from flowers and bouquet to families and life. I stated that each member of this family is a unique and special person.  Each one carries their own individuality and in doing so adds to the beauty – Like a bouquet this family has been made with personalities that are colorful and bright and that is what makes it whole and complete.  The couple wanted this fact to be representative of their wedding. So, they sent about their children to pick out their favorite flowers… The flowers that each child holds is different from their siblings - yet each one was just as beautiful as the next – a great representation of individuality and of self. 

I then asked each child to come forth and add their bit of color (their flower) to the flower held by the bride and in doing so... the family will, one by one, create a bouquet of varied colors, fragrances and beauty which is a great representation of all the wonderful things that make-up a family. 

After each child delivered his/her flower to mom they stood beside their parents - a tight line facing out - and I spoke of the flowers. I stated, that each color of flower represented these lives – Individual and unique – Each color hold’s it’s own beauty, strength and character.  It can stand alone on it’s own and be whole - with out the need of anything else – However when these flowers are put together they create an entirely new and more intricate entity – each flower – each color brings to the mixture a lasting beauty that forever enriches the combination.  This symbolizes the importance of each individual within the family and the joining of their lives into one family. I then asked the groom to bind the flowers with a piece of twine and create the family bouquet.  

Let the knot in the twine symbolize that this family is bound together by love, commitment and grace. 

The bride then placed her bouquet into a vase of water – Let this represent just as flowers need water, nutrients, soil and sun to grow - this family will nourish each other with love, kindness, forgiveness and respect.

I closed the wedding with these words... Flowers are beautiful to behold and compellingly sweet to the senses.  Yet we know that it takes several seasons, much tender care and the weathering of storms for those perennial flowers to grow and ripen.  Not unlike a marriage. 
May the bouquet of this marriage grow from your common experiences and be beautified by your individual expressions. 
May you plant seeds of love, joy, respect and kindness.
May you nurture these seeds so that they may bloom and grow in abundance.
May the stems of your marriage be rooted in a soil of selfless love and grow leaves of shared values, hopes and dreams. 
May your year’s blossom with happiness and 
May the sun shine upon your family.



 

Why not marry your honey, with honey.  In this ceremony, the symbol of honey is to represent the sweet life the couple will share.  The bride and groom each dips their finger tip into a dish of honey and then to the tongue of their beloved. The first taste of their sweet life.  A perfect poem for this ceremony would be...

Hindu Marriage Poem
You have become mine forever.  
Yes, we have become partners.
I have become yours. 
Hereafter, I cannot live without you.
Do not live without me.  
Let us share the joys.
We are word and meaning, unite. 
You are thought and I am sound

May the nights be honey-sweet for us
May the mornings be honey-sweet for us
May the plants be honey-sweet for us
May the earth be honey-sweet for us

Earlier, I wrote a ceremony in which a garden was planted.  I described the ceremony as having small pots of soil and a scattering of seeds.  As the couple would place a seed into the soil, the officiant would say - "This is the seed of love, let it grow" 
"This is the seed of forgiveness, let it grow" etc, etc.  I imagine this same analogy could be used with bird seed and a feeder.

The feeder would represent the Home that the couple will share a life in.  A "Home is where the Heart is."  During the ceremony the couple will pour bird seed into the feeder.  The seed represent the seeds of life, love and family, all experiences over flowing.  They are the seeds of play, laughter and joy.  Seeds of hopes, dreams and change.  Mixed among them may be seeds of sorrows or pains, but the blessing seeds, far outweigh them.  These are the seeds that  will fill the couples Home and all that they will experience, endure, embrace and grow from.  After all, "There's no place like home."

This adorable child's book makes for an excellent wedding reading.  It is the story of a distant and peculiar (yet, clever and witty) dinosaur,  who falls in love with a Lovely Other Dinosaur.  The other dinosaur is a forgetful, free-spirit with a skipping mind and a kind heart - Not unlike my own marriage:

Reading:
The fierce Dinosaur was trapped inside his cage of ice. Although it was cold he was happy in there. It was, after all, his cage.

Then along came the Lovely Other Dinosaur.
 The Lovely Other Dinosaur melted the Dinosaur's cage with kind words and loving thoughts. 
I like this Dinosaur thought the Lovely Other Dinosaur.
 Although he is fierce he is also tender and he is funny.
He is also quite clever though I will not tell him this for now.

I like this Lovely Other Dinosaur, thought the Dinosaur. She is beautiful and she is different and she smells so nice.
 She is also a free spirit which is a quality I much admire in a dinosaur.

But he can be so distant and so peculiar at times, thought the Lovely Other Dinosaur.
 He is also overly fond of things. 
Are all Dinosaurs so overly fond of things?

But her mind skips from here to there so quickly thought the Dinosaur. She is also uncommonly keen on shopping. 
Are all Lovely Other Dinosaurs so uncommonly keen on shopping?

I will forgive his peculiarity and his concern for things, thought the Lovely Other Dinosaur. For they are part of what makes him a richly charactered individual.

I will forgive her skipping mind and her fondness for shopping, thought the Dinosaur. For she fills our life with beautiful thoughts and wonderful surprises. Besides, I am not unkeen on shopping either.

Now the Dinosaur and the Lovely Other Dinosaur are old. 
Look at them. 
Together they stand on the hill telling each other stories and feeling the warmth of the sun on their backs.

And that, my friends, is how it is with love. 
Let us all be Dinosaurs and Lovely Other Dinosaurs together. 
For the sun is warm.
And the world is a beautiful place. 

Every marriage starts out as a blank canvas and every day is a splash of color.  
I would love to Illustrate that very idea, during a wedding ceremony.  And all that would be needed, is a blank canvas, an easel ( with a protective tray, placed on a protective sheet), a collection of small jelly jars filled with vibrant colors of paint and a willing couple.

The couple would (very carefully) pour the jars of paint down the front of their canvas to symbolize the creating of a life together.

The blank canvas represents, the day of the wedding, and a new beginning.  The paint colors signify the experiences that lie ahead.  Each color a moment to be had.  Colors of joys and sorrows, blessings and heartache.  The colors are the couples milestones, their celebrations, tribulations, passions and dreams.  They are the moments that become the days that make-up the years.  

The painted canvas will be the couples life (and life's art).   It will be exactly what the two of them make it.  There will be places on the canvas when the colors blend and mix, flowing together, creating a new color of experiences shared.  There will be places when the colors stay separate and stand out alone and independent... yet, still a compliment to the bold color by it's side.  And there may be places of contrast.  Parts of the canvas that look dark or messy and not at all to the couples liking.  While another spot remains blank and bare.

However, when you step back and look at the canvas in it's entirety, you will see that it clearly is "An Original Masterpiece" unlike anything you've ever seen before.  Each color, contrast, shadow, blend as unique and beautiful as each couple.





 

I love medals.  I have many pieces of symbolism that I wear on chain around my neck.  My favorite and the ones I often wear are my immaculate conception medal, my tree medal, and a silver circle which is inscribed with the words "Not all that wander are lost".   So of course, I am in love with The Family Medallion and believe it should be included in all wedding ceremonies that are blending two families. 

  

When your wedding consists of two families becoming one, and your children and their children becoming siblings.  This is a wedding and marriage that is bigger than the both of you.   This is a celebration where all should share the promise, and the symbolism. “The Family Medallion” is a lovely addition to the ring ceremony. 

The wedding ring is a circle that represents a love that is endless and it is given during the ceremony as a symbol of that timeless love and a token of the promises shared.  The Family Medallion is three circles intertwined and it represents a family being bonded, becoming one and sharing a life together.  The Medallion can be given to the children and promises made of being a united family and then a special blessing.

The Family Medallion would also be a lovely and symbolic way to celebrate a child’s adoption.  A sweet, sensitive ceremony that would touch everyone and give a lovely way for the new parents to give thanks, rejoice and celebrate their new and lovely life and journey.

Salt - a powerful element - it is in our oceans and in our tears.  It is used in healing and protection and good luck.  The Covenant of Salt is mentioned in the Bible.  In books Numbers 18:19, 2 Chronicles 12:1, Leviticus 2:13.  So what is this Covenant of Salt?  I believe it is about a promise not meant to be broken, an expression of a devout vow.  How perfect for a wedding ceremony- A Covenant of Salt to be done directly after the vows.

My thought is that the couple each take up a pinch of salt and toss it in the air - making a covenant or a promise to each other.  In order for the promise to be broken the couple would need to pick up every grain of salt that has been cast to the winds - an impossible task.   I like the idea of a shell holding the salt.  A shell is a love symbol.  Because of it's hard exterior the shell is thought to be a protective image and signifies the protective component that love sometimes takes.