Nobody wants to plan a funeral, however at one time or another, each of us will. For reasons I can’t explain I have lost many close friends and loved ones. Several times in my life I have experienced the loss of a young close friend and have been put in the role of helping to memorialize them. Maybe it is because of these experiences that I feel called to be a celebrant and write Celebration of Life ceremonies.
When I was twenty-nine years old my good friend and co-worker died a sudden tragic death leaving behind five young children. Although her siblings and family did her funeral planning, I found myself involved with her children. Suddenly I was engaged in helping her children travel through the grief process and I became obsessed with instilling her memory into their young hearts. It was important to me that they remember who their mother was and how much she loved them, especially the youngest, who was only 15 months at the time of her death. One of the things I did for the kids was to create them a book. I went through photographs and asked my sister to draw illustrations that reflected Beverly. I then wrote a poem or rather essay of remembrance about their mother. I asked all that knew her to share their thoughts and memories about Beverly on paper and then I collected each and every one and bound it all together creating a child’s book. I made a copy of the book for each child and then I made several more that I would keep and give them years later in case the fist copy was ever lost or misplaced. I believed the book helped not just the children but, mostly me. In the creation of personalizing Beverly’s memory I cried, laughed, loved, shared and grieved.
Seven years later I lost another young friend. She was taken cruelly by cervical cancer and my heart ached. Again I was placed closely to the family at the time of death and at a time of need. For them, one of the things I did was to create Donna’s memorial video that was shown at her services. Going through pictures, choosing music and making a slide show. The personal creation help to heal my heart and there’s.
Another seven years passes and I find myself again at the bedside of a young friend. This time it is my best friend since childhood and her death seems chaotic and sad. After losing Lori my grief was deep and since I was one of the closest people in her small circle at that time, I took on the process of planning her memorial. It was extremely important to me that Lori’s service was a true representation of her. That her essence hung in the air that day and her memory was imprinted on the hearts of all who attended. I wrote and designed Lori’s memorial services but I did not speak it that would have been too much, I handed off my very personal script and the outline of her service including eulogy, music, prayer and flower exchange to a minister who said and did exactly as I had instructed.
Once again I had taken the loss of a friend and created a way in which I could celebrate the life she had lived and the way she would want to be remembered. It is because of this trek through grief and pain that I feel a personalized ceremony is the most healing.
When I was twenty-nine years old my good friend and co-worker died a sudden tragic death leaving behind five young children. Although her siblings and family did her funeral planning, I found myself involved with her children. Suddenly I was engaged in helping her children travel through the grief process and I became obsessed with instilling her memory into their young hearts. It was important to me that they remember who their mother was and how much she loved them, especially the youngest, who was only 15 months at the time of her death. One of the things I did for the kids was to create them a book. I went through photographs and asked my sister to draw illustrations that reflected Beverly. I then wrote a poem or rather essay of remembrance about their mother. I asked all that knew her to share their thoughts and memories about Beverly on paper and then I collected each and every one and bound it all together creating a child’s book. I made a copy of the book for each child and then I made several more that I would keep and give them years later in case the fist copy was ever lost or misplaced. I believed the book helped not just the children but, mostly me. In the creation of personalizing Beverly’s memory I cried, laughed, loved, shared and grieved.
Seven years later I lost another young friend. She was taken cruelly by cervical cancer and my heart ached. Again I was placed closely to the family at the time of death and at a time of need. For them, one of the things I did was to create Donna’s memorial video that was shown at her services. Going through pictures, choosing music and making a slide show. The personal creation help to heal my heart and there’s.
Another seven years passes and I find myself again at the bedside of a young friend. This time it is my best friend since childhood and her death seems chaotic and sad. After losing Lori my grief was deep and since I was one of the closest people in her small circle at that time, I took on the process of planning her memorial. It was extremely important to me that Lori’s service was a true representation of her. That her essence hung in the air that day and her memory was imprinted on the hearts of all who attended. I wrote and designed Lori’s memorial services but I did not speak it that would have been too much, I handed off my very personal script and the outline of her service including eulogy, music, prayer and flower exchange to a minister who said and did exactly as I had instructed.
Once again I had taken the loss of a friend and created a way in which I could celebrate the life she had lived and the way she would want to be remembered. It is because of this trek through grief and pain that I feel a personalized ceremony is the most healing.
RSS Feed
